Fronds: dead and alive

Before I get started, I just want to say that I love that God speaks to me through metaphors!

During a "God time" hour this past week at ogn (this explains what ogn is), I was pretty distraught. I was tired from the day before, confused about why I was having such a difficult time talking to people about the God I love, and really didn't understand why I was in so much pain!

I went up to my dorm room and sat at the desk, looking out the window. There was a man on a lift, pruning a palm tree. It was quite interesting to me, as I'm not used to palm trees much at all. So, in an effort to process SOMETHING, I grabbed my note book and took down a few observations. By the end of it, this is what stood out to me the most:

The man was cutting off the dead, old fronds and pulling off all the scraps from the trunk. This seemed obvious. If I had been told to prune this tree, I would have taken these things off as well (and I have definitely not had any palm tree experience).

But along with the obviously ugly and dead fronds, he was cutting off some fronds that were completely alive and well. At first this confused me. Why take off something that was living? I mean, if the palm tree could feel pain, I'm pretty sure it was going through quite a traumatic experience!

Then I realized that these living fronds were being taken off for the sake of the shape of the tree. The man was making the tree more beautiful by taking off the unnecessary fronds, which were taking up precious water and nutrients, so that the necessary fronds could have this precious water and nutrients. The necessary fronds would also be forced to become greener, and it would encourage new fronds to grow in.

Here's the point:

I'm being shaped. God is cutting out things that are dead and obviously need to go (so obvious that I even am asking Him to take them away), and these don't really hurt when He takes them away. But He is also cutting out things that I have been regarding as essential parts of me. And this really is painful. This whole process is so that I continue to grow as He wants me to.

So after this week at ogn, I feel like a severely (and lovingly) pruned palm tree.

Glory to God!