Restless like the sea

So... I'm going to New Zealand. Awesome. "When?" you ask. Wellsir, I don't know. But I want to go soon.

My restlessness for change has been growing lately. It comes and goes like the ocean's tide, really. I keep feeling like I'm juggling time. 

At one point, I wanted to leave before Christmas (because if it has to be different--which it does--I want it to be completely different). But then I realized I'd rather not go somewhere to run away from anything. So then I started to think it'd be a better idea to go after Christmas.

At another point, I wanted to leave as soon as possible because I didn't feel like I belonged here (yeah... that happens sometimes). Then I realized if God wanted me in New Zealand right now, I'd be in New Zealand right now. And then I started to enjoy my good friends here more and more, and... well.... it's going to difficult to leave them. So then I decided maybe it'd be better to leave after Christmas.

So in both cases, I was pushing the leaving date further away. But now... now I've realized Christmas is going to be so entirely different in either case that it wouldn't be running away if I left before it. And now I really feel more urgency to put all effort to getting there. I mean, even my passport came quickly (three weeks). And no, I didn't expedite it. So... yes.

Punchline: I don't know when I'm going. I'll get there when I get there. And it looks like it will be sooner rather than later. 

Good.